so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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