Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
