I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
