i'm signing you up for texting rehab
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
