I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
