Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
