I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I can't put those talents on a resume
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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