Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
