ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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