I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
