billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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