We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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