I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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