I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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