Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
