Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
