now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
