guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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