Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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