Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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