He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
