operation harelip BJ is a go
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I believe in your delicious
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
