You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
