is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
