How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
