Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Help. Why am I so naked?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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