so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
