Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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