Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
