Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
