i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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