swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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