Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
