We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
