lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
