I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
