Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
