I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
