Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
