what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
