I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
