Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
