Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
