this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
