it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
