hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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