you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
