I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
