I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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