Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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