just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
